Chapter 3 Reflection

Chapter 3's concepts brought back memories from COM101 in freshmen year. So many of the concepts were introduced there, but brought deeper and with more detail in the text. Some of them, and some of my thoughts, are as follows:

Social perfection paradox:
The text explains that one issues with appropriate and reasonable self-image is the skewed requirements of "competent adults" in our society. It elaborates that we're expected to have a certain group of skills, an area or two of expertise, and ongoing use of those strengths. Yet it is often considered childish, bragging, or rude to mention milestones or achievements one has made, even in recognized fields (76).  This resonates with my own experience, especially when explaining my days at work or work events to my friends and family. Facts sometimes suffice--"I coordinated such-and-such"--but sometimes I want to tell them how I closed a sale, or the specific nonverbal cues I caught and capitalized on. This works alright with the people of my personal life, but feels like bragging or boasting if I mention it to my coworkers, and I sometimes feel as if I should follow it up with explaining a mistake I made. But most of me likes to look on the bright side and leave the dark spots of the past behind, so it's an odd place to be.

Reflected appraisal:
It is a testament to humanity's community nature that so much of our self-concept is accepted via what we see in the skewed mirrors of others' perceptions.  I never thought I was organized--my desk is usually a death trap for papers and my car--until in college someone saw me color-coding; then later another person realized I filed all my homework under year-, quarter-, class-, and assignment-specific files on my laptop; then someone was astounded at the lists I made before an event, and on it went until now I'm known as "organized" to those who are acquaintances. Friends and family smile, but now I may dare to list "organized" as a quality I possess to an extent; I've internalized it enough that it is less audacity and more of a resolution--in itself, perhaps, a self-fulfilling prophecy.